Monday, November 5, 2007

Eco Mad Libs!

Here’s a fun little Mad Lib for you to do with your friends. I based it on a ridiculous article in USA Today, titled something like “Climate Change will Hit Kids Hardest.” In order to save journalists and alarmists time, this simple form can be used to prepare a boilerplate article about the upcoming eco-doom that will destroy us all.

Simply fill in the following:

(1) Organization
(2) Major Award
(3) Extinct Animal
(4) Animal
(5) Five Random Letters
(6) Industry you like
(7) Industry that you don’t like
(8) Chemical Element
(9) Disease
(10) Type of Death
(11) Country You Admire
(12) Native People of Any Region
(13) Musical Instrument
(14) Lucrative Industry
(15) Country You Hate
(16) Two Types of Natural Disaster
(17) Color
(18) Number between 1 and 100

Now the fun begins:

Report: Climate Change Disaster Sooner, Not Later

A report issued last week by the ________(1) stated that the threat of climate change was “much farther advanced than anyone expected” and warned of impending and irreversible disaster unless “immediate and drastic steps are taken to alleviate this dire threat to human civilization.”

Al Gore, winner of ________(2), said that the report did not surprise him at all. “We know that anthropomorphic climate change already claimed the ________(3), and it gravely threatens the ________(4).”

Hunt Gushman, of ________(5), said that the report didn’t go far enough in recommending changes. “We need to do make major steps in every sector of our economy. Although we’ve done well in ________(6), there are a lot of areas where we’re falling behind. One example is in ________(7), where we still emit massive amounts of ________(8), which some studies have shown cause ________(9) and an increased risk of fatality from ________(10) in surrounding communities, especially among children.”

The report said that one example for other countries to follow could be found in ________(11), where the native population of ________(12) has been encouraged to expand their traditional production of ________(13) in place of more ecologically destructive activities, such as casino gambling or ________(14).

But a spokesman for ________(15) blasted the report, saying that it was “naïve and unhelpful” in the discussion of global climate change. However, their comments were dismissed since they are known deniers of the clear science that has shown an increase of ________(16) in the past 20 years due to human activity.

“We’re living on borrowed time, and I’m ________(17) with fear,” said Gore. “The Earth has been here for billions of years, but thanks to us there’s only ________(18) years left until total meltdown.”
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Here’s an example of a completed Eco-Mad-Lib:

Report: Climate Change Disaster Sooner, Not Later

A report issued last week by the Meat Advisory Council stated that the threat of climate change was “much farther advanced than anyone expected” and warned of impending and irreversible disaster unless “immediate and drastic steps are taken to alleviate this dire threat to human civilization.”

Al Gore, winner of the BET Entertainer of the Year, said that the report did not surprise him at all. “We know that anthropomorphic climate change already claimed the Tyrannosaurus Rex, and it gravely threatens the Blue-Footed Boobie.”

Hunt Gushman, of ASPCA, said that the report didn’t go far enough in recommending changes. “We need to do make major steps in every sector of our economy. Although we’ve done well in Portable Toilet Transport, there are a lot of areas where we’re falling behind. One example is in Tennis Court Resurfacing, where we still emit massive amounts of Antimony, which some studies have shown cause Scabies and an increased risk of fatality from Autoerotic Asphyxiation in surrounding communities, especially among children.”

The report said that one example for other countries to follow could be found in Liechtenstein, where the native population of Inuit has been encouraged to expand their traditional production of Ukuleles in place of more ecologically destructive activities, such as casino gambling or Software Programming.

But a spokesman for Djibouti blasted the report, saying that it was “naïve and unhelpful” in the discussion of global climate change. However, their comments were dismissed since they are known deniers of the clear science that has shown an increase of Volcanic Eruption and Cicada Infestation in the past 20 years due to human activity.

“We’re living on borrowed time, and I’m Yellow with fear,” said Gore. “The Earth has been here for billions of years, but thanks to us there’s only 21 years left until total meltdown.”