Wednesday, November 21, 2007

GQ Names Ron Paul Dark Horse fan of the Year

In an effort to woo the underappreciated “politically active upscale comic book fanboy” demographic, Ron Paul waxed eloquent in a recent GQ interview about how much of an influence Dark Horse comics has had in shaping his worldview. Because for Paul, no demographic is too small, unimportant, disinterested, or pathetic to merit his undivided attention.

GQ: You’ve spoken about letters of marque and reprisal. Why do you want to revive this system of blood vengeance?
PAUL: Well, it’s an idea I’d been toying with for some time when I ran across a serious, scientific study of the idea of sanctioned vigilantism in Marshal Law. It also detailed the government’s genetic tampering with members of the military, and its resultant rise in mental problems among veterans. I vowed then that I would take these ideas and turn them into good governance.

GQ: Is it true that you lead an active lifestyle?
PAUL: Oh, yes, and I have ever since I fell in love with extreme sports portrayed in Barbed Wire. There’s a lot to commend about the Barbed Wire lifestyle, particularly the enhanced assets, which is a cornerstone of my campaign.

GQ: To what do you attribute your visceral opposition to the Iraq war?
PAUL: My career as a doctor has given me a great empathy to those who suffer, but it’s really in the historical study of warfare that you begin to understand the brutality that gets unleashed when men try to kill each other. This is best chronicled in the gripping novella 300 about a group of Greeks who are killed when they try to stand against an implacable foe. They throw their lives away for practically nothing. It’s better to join the tyrants than to be killed, I always say.

GQ: What do you think of your supporters?
PAUL: My supporters remind me of Big Head from The Mask. Sometimes manic, sometimes raving, always inches from violence, but basically a good group if you can get past all that. I’m trying to run a ‘big tent’ campaign, where neo-Nazis, latter-day Luddites and conspiracy theorists can all get together in one big, happy, money-donating family.

GQ: So what do you think of your chances?
PAUL: Just as Dark Horse has supplanted Marvel and DC as the comic of choice, leveraging their many titles into successful moneymaking movie franchises.

(H/T: Ace)