Thousands of Cheese-Rights Activists took to the streets in Milwaukee Wednesday to protest comments made in an interview by Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama, who called their state “remote,” equated cheese with “junk”, and hinted he doesn’t eat it because if you do "you'll never survive."
The protestors burned Illinois flags and called for him to be censured. Obama, an Illinois senator, is currently the Democratic frontrunner in the presidential primary.
One of the masked ringleaders told reporters that “It is unconscionable that this man besmirches the honor of Wisconsin, Iowa, and cheese. We demand an immediate apology from him, the Democratic Party, and the entire state of Illinois. Unless our demands are met we will continue to riot until we run out of beer or cheese or, God help us all, both.”
The protests marked the latest in a string of high-profile embarrassments for the Obama campaign, from discovering that al-Qaeda is already in Iraq to finding out that no one can really tell the difference between butter and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!”
“This is all just part of the right-wing noise machine,” said a member of the Obama campaign. “Senator Obama has nothing but respect for the remote cheese-eating denizens of the Midwest. In fact, with his commitment to protectionism and increased environmental awareness, all these fine people will have to eat in the future is locally-grown cheese.”
Hillary Clinton, having tried everything to catch up to Obama without success, attempted to outdo him in his disdain for Wisconsinites. A spokesperson said that “if those inbred, cow-loving, cheese-swilling hicks don’t like it, they can take their overstuffed colons and move to Canada.”
Police said that the protest remained peaceful because no one had insulted Brett Favre or the Packers, but they were nonetheless monitoring the situation from Madison.