Monday, May 28, 2007

Dr. Z is a Sanctimonious Jerk

Just writing that title makes me feel better. If you don't read sports, or you don't care, feel free to skip this. I'm going to rant.

Wine-swilling dilettante Paul Zimmerman (aka Dr. Z) is a sportswriter for SportsIllustrated. I last lambasted him here for being a hypocrite as regards his writings on the need to fire several radio jocks (Imus, Limbaugh, et al) with whom he doesn't agree while insisting that he "doesn't call for people's heads" later on in the column when discussing coaches.

In his latest mailbag he makes the same feat of logical legerdemain. His first quote:
Tim of Dover, Del., wonders when Eli Manning will receive the official "bust" label. "When do we fans and you media types call him out?" he asks. Now I don't want to be resentful, after you said such nice things about my work, but honestly, I'm not in the business of calling people out. I try to evaluate what I see on the field, but I know what's bugging you, the idea of high draft "savior" types getting the benefit of the doubt far too long. Manning is a scatter-passer. It's time for him to get his gunsight in place. Another up and down year and...well, a bust? I don't like that about a "burst?"
Emphasis is mine, added because this is unbelievably sanctimonious talk from an odious hypocrite. In just a few seconds, which was really as long as I could expose myself to his infantile drivel without endangering my synapses, I dug from the most recent mailbags examples of him plying this business he so willfully denies:

On Randy Moss:
I promise you this, Gary. As long as I'm a selector, the Canton Highway will be a very difficult road for Moss. I don't care how many great years he gives the Patriots. The guy's a dog, and there are too many people who spent years of sacrifice without getting a sniff from the Hall.

Asked about his feelings toward Terrell Owens
...whose on-field commitment cannot be questioned, despite "Peter King's crying about his alligator arms." Waddya mean, crying? Put me down as agreeing with Peter. In San Francisco T.O. would give up on patterns and passes that called for him to extend himself in ways he didn't care for. He was notorious for that...But here's the thing I don't like about him. He's a bully. He's got a mean streak. You'll notice that whenever he went after someone, it was when the person was in a weakened situation...Hall of Fame? Not if I'm still a selector.

About the Giants players:
They feed on the media's antipathy toward Coughlin. They take shots, drop little innuendos they know will see print. They are very media savvy, and I include Michael Strahan and Tiki Barber, two guys I admire and admired greatly as players. It's no picnic coaching these guys. Shockey and Burress refuse to work out with Eli Manning in the off season, despite his constant pleading. You never know when Burress will choose a game in which to go south, in which to come up with a case of the dropsies. You never know what outrageous quote Shockey will launch. You never know when Manning will get a case of the sprays and start directing his passes God know where.

His comments about Imus and other radio personalities he finds distasteful (all in my earlier denunciation).

About Tony Kornheiser:
ESPN's Tony Kornheiser, whose high school recitations added nothing, and really should have been the man to go, was rated no stars.

This last is a reference to his annual column where he rates announcing teams, the whole purpose of which is to call out his fellow on-air Sports professionals.

Perhaps I misunderstand the erudite gentleman, and in his world "calling out" means something else. Perhaps I misunderstand, and "calling out" is only to be used on wide receivers or teams with whom he doesn't agree.

Or perhaps I see clearly that this guy is a monumental fraud and a grade-A jackass.