Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Those *#&@! Ads!!

I’m going to vent: I hate those stupid in-site popup ads with the graphics that obscure everything else on screen with their stupid trucks, or ducks, or rainbows, or whatever else. And you have to search all over for the ‘Close’ button, which is in six-point font and located about six screen inches above and to the right or left, and always perilously near another ad so that if you miss-click you end up opening another stupid ad for a different product that you don’t want.

Don’t advertisers know we hate those things? Yes, they catch my attention, but they also convince me not to buy whatever it is they’re selling. Anybody who has so little concern for what I’m trying to do that they disrupt my concentration is somebody I’ll never buy something from.

The worst are the ones with sound, so that you open up a site like ESPN and suddenly hear “YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED A BETTER GENITAL WART CREAM, AND NOW YOU’VE GOT IT IN GREAT-SMELLING MINT WITH SPECIAL EXTRA-SOFT APPLICATOR!” blaring through the office while a Rockette-style line of applicators is dancing by just as your boss walks in to talk to you about something to find you desperately searching for the close button, only it looks like you’re trying to look up the applicator’s sequined skirts because you have to get really close to the screen to read the six-point-font.

Getting people fired is probably bad for business, don’t you think?

I hate ads.