Friday, May 4, 2007

Paging Doctor Mickey

I see that the vast right-wing hit machine has spun into overdrive over on Don Surber's blog, denouncing the government’s 3-day healthcare research conference at Disneyworld. But it’s clear that they don’t know the first thing about healthcare or Disney. If they did, then they’d be cheering this as an example of government prioritizing at its finest.

Complaint #1: It’s too expensive.

Reality: Did you know that a top-of-the-line room at the deluxe resorts in Disney costs about 850 dollars a night? The lowest quoted room rate at the Swan and Dolphin resorts costs just a fraction of that, at only 245 dollars per night. And with more flights than ever between Washington and Orlando, airfare is practically negligible, as is transportation to the park if you register with Disney’s “Ticket to the World” package. So forget this as a legitimate beef.

Verdict: Just more right-wing spin.

Complaint #2: Health-care officials have their own offices

Reality: It’s a well-known fact that people can’t concentrate on cross-functional teams if they’re in a distracting environment. And what environment is more distracting than Washington, with constant subpoenas, phone calls from home, and lurid text messages from closeted homosexual representatives? The placid shores of Lake Disney are the ideal place to have this calm, relaxing look at fixing the nation’s health care woes, located in a serene wilderness ideal for contemplation. It’s as if Emerson or Thoreau decided to focus on health care.

Verdict: Necessary to focus.

Complaint #3: There’s no connection between Disneyworld and health care

Reality: When was the last time you heard of a Disney employee getting hurt? Me neither. And they wear those heavy costumes, in Florida, in the summer. They work near dangerous rides. They deal with children. So obviously this is a model system. Why not learn from the best? Also, it’s not like there are broken hospitals in the Washington area that need fixing or anything.

Verdict: Just more hot air from the so-called "Porkbusters", like we’ve come to expect.

Complaint #4: “It’s like the nomenklatura going to the Black Sea.”

Reality: I have no idea what that comment means, so clearly it’s false and inflammatory.

Verdict: Obfuscation with over-education does not give validation.

Surber winds up his absurd piece by saying ”this is just a taste of what government-run healthcare will look like.” To which I say: good! I love to go to Disneyworld. It’s the happiest, and healthiest, place on Earth!