Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Achilles: The Ultimate Democrat

More than 3,000 years ago, Homer gave us what we can consider to be the portrait of an ideal Democrat in the mythical hero Achilles, who stood with the Greeks against Troy during their ten-year siege. For those of you less versed in the classics than I am (i.e. who have lives), here is the evidence:

1) When he didn’t get his way, Achilles chose to pout in his tent instead of supporting the war. Because he pouted, a lot of additional people died, but he blamed it on the guy in charge (Agamemnon) instead of taking any responsibility himself. With an attitude like that, he’d make a good House Speaker or Senate Majority Leader.

2) Achilles chose personal glory for himself over everything else, knowing that though he’d die in war his name would live forever in the annals of men because he fought at Troy. Similarly, John Kerry and Al Gore chose personal glory for themselves as war tourists. You could fault Achilles for putting himself at risk, but so did JFK in WW2, and he’s always touted as the perfect Democrat.

3) Achilles fooled around on his wife with the slave girl Briseis. Does this remind anybody else of a recent president from the Democrats?

4) While invulnerable in every other spot, his heel was his weak point and eventually led to his death. Just as most of the Democrat’s arguments are invulnerable to logic, science, and proof despite the fact that they have fatal flaws.

5) After he killed Hector, Achilles drug his body around as a parade piece for days on end and used it for sport, despite the fact that Hector was an honorable man who did Achilles no wrong. Just like how the Democrats are using Pat Tillman now.