Friday, August 17, 2007

Where rationing leads...

I see in the news that a Chinese couple wanted to name their child @. Let's just imagine the life of this little bundle of joy, shall we?

Age 0: Proud parents display baby Chung @, whose phonetic name means "love him." Everybody tells them that's wonderful, but then decides that they need more normal friends.

Age 4: Little @ begins self-defense training because other kids are beating up on him and loving it.

Age 7: @ becomes moody and withdrawn after discovering that there's never a gaudy personalized souvenir with his name on it since his parents picked a stupid flavor-of-the-month name.

Age 10: @ discovers that you can't get an e-mail address that goes @@yahoo.com. He ends up going for ihatemystupidparents@yahoo.com.

Age 11: @ becomes further withdrawn when he discovers that you can't get a MySpace page under @ either.

Age 15: @ indulges himself in his longtime fantasy, patricide. At his trial his only evidence is "they named me @!" He is given a small fine and time served.

Age 16: @ legally changes his name to something respectable, Chung Asswipeo.