Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Perfect Candidates

Can you imagine a Democratic candidate with…
*Hillary Clinton’s spine
*Barack Obama’s suit
*John Edwards’ hair
And last but not least…
*Al Gore’s powerpoint presentation

And the name?
Baracka Clinton, ex-wife of former president Bill Clinton.

Can you imagine a Republican candidate with…
*Rudy Giuliani’s achievements
*John McCain’s reputation
*Mitt Romney’s PR machine
And last but not least…
*Pat Robertson bound, tied, and gagged out of the public eye

And the name?
Reagan McGiuliani: war hero, maverick legislator, and arch-conservative with a proven track record of results and a name that “Rings a Bell.”

But what could you do with the leftovers? Well, you could make what might possibly be the worst candidates for president ever:

Could you imagine a Democratic candidate who had:
*The appeal of Hillary Clinton
*John Edward’s spine
*Barack Obama’s legislative record
And let us not forget…
*Al Gore’s presentation skills

They already ran this candidate in 2004; his name was John Kerry.

And the Republicans could make a candidate with
*A personal life as clean as Rudy Giuliani’s
*John McCain’s commitment to conservative core values
*Mitt Romney’s religious image problem
And of course…
*Pat Robertson giving helpful advice

The Republicans already ran this candidate, too. His name is George W. Bush.