FBI Priority List

We live in dangerous times, but fortunately the FBI is there to protect us. Judging from recent headlines and events, we can conclude that the FBI’s top 10 priority list looks something like this:

1) Searching for Jimmy Hoffa
2) Violate the Patriot act
3) Assist England in Princess Diana death probe
4) Discredit the Bush administration
5) Devise new and interesting ways to help the Department of Homeland Security humiliate passengers
6) Listening in on congressional page wiretaps
7) Write up uniform guidelines on which groups are acceptable terrorist proxies in school drills
8) 24-hour surveillance on Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton
9) Leak classified information to the NY Times
10) Find the Lindburgh Baby