Tarantino to direct Scooby Doo meets Batman

As part of a continuing bid to educate filmgoers about the glory of the 1970’s and thus validate his recent flops, Quentin Tarantino agreed today to direct the R-Rated remake of seventies film classic “Scooby Doo Meets Batman.” Once again George Clooney will be stepping into the role of Batman, this time with everyone’s favorite crime-solving Great Dane by his side. The Scooby Doo gang have all agreed to return to their traditional roles, and Robin will be played by Topher Grace.

“I’ve got a lot of surprises in store for both franchises.” Tarantino promised. “I had to agree not to kill off any of the main Scooby Doo characters or Batman, but I did get producers to agree to that long-awaited Velma nude scene. And the forty-five minute torture scene of Robin is really going to be a first for modern films.”

The plot will be familiar to fans of Scooby Doo: while camping in the woods the gang comes across Batman and Robin as they search for the secret hideout of Joker and Penguin, who have abducted a scientist who has invented a flying suit. The Joker will be played by Tarantino favorite John Travolta, and in a ‘Get Shorty’ reunion Danny DeVito has agreed to reprise his portrayal of the Penguin. In a surprise addition to the story, John Leguizamo will provide the voice of Scooby’s nephew Scrappy.

In a slight departure from the original movie the scientist will be played by a woman, Halle Berry, who in the story has been surgically altered to have rockets instead of arms and can fire bullets from her eyeballs by picking her nose.

The studio said it was still searching for someone to play the breakdancing assassin after Samuel L. Jackson turned them down because of conflicts with his upcoming film, ‘Shaft 2: Shafting Talk Radio.’