Leo Warns NASA on Mars Rover

Leonardo DiCaprio today warned NASA about its Mars rover, responding to several news stories regarding Martian global warming. His comments came at a red-carpet event in Lilles, France, where he and other jet-set celebrities had traveled for the third-annual Environmental Responsibility in Film Awards. DiCaprio was being presented a Lifetime Achievement Award for his work in promoting environmental welfare.

“It’s not enough to think just about our planet,” The boyish-faced actor, best known for his stirring work in the movie The Beach, told the assembled throng. “Right now there’s a NASA Humvee driving around Mars stirring up dust and adding CO2 and other pollutants into the Martian atmosphere. Did you know that the surface temperature of Mars has risen almost two degrees over the past two decades? Did you care?”

DiCaprio went on to criticize the United States for what he called forty years of interstellar pollution. “The moon landing, if it happened, is a good example of our environmental insustainability. Three or four Americans go up to the moon, emit a bunch of CO2, dump garbage everywhere, and then leave. I saw the Wallace Gromit documentary on moon pollution and it showed old stoves and other junk that had been left up there. It’s a national disgrace.”

His most critical remarks, however, were pointed at NASA scientists over their Mars rover. “Here’s this group of geeks tearing up Mars in their nuclear SUVs, making their canals run dry, melting their polar ice caps, and using our tax dollars to do it! They could have at least landed a Prius on Mars to show them that we really cared about their environment.”