The European Union reminded the world today that June 13 has traditionally been known as “Opposite Day” and any decisions taken then are considered to be the reverse of what was actually decided.
“This is actually very good news for the Union,” said EU Spokesperson Reginald DuChamps de Marny. “We are certain that the Irish knew about the tradition, and so when they voted No, they actually meant Yes. So the progress of diminishing national autonomy can continue and we can collect power in Brussels, which is where it belongs.”
Catherine Borney Hump-Skoting said that the tradition also explained the continent’s warm welcome to US President Bush. “We hate the man, forked tail and all. But since it’s opposite week, we have to act like we like him. But France isn’t really going to give military support to any missions overseas, Italy isn’t really going to send soldiers to Iraq, and the US still doesn’t have any prestige overseas.”
She added that “it’s important for US voters to understand that it’s still necessary to vote Democrat to increase prestige overseas, because being well-liked by your peers is more important than anything else in life.”
Others were not so happy with the news. Greg Packer, interviewed on the streets of London, was irate that his country didn’t get a chance to also validate the treaty. “We didn’t get a yes or no vote,” Packer said. “Parliament just rubber-stamps anything Brussels sends to us. It’s like living in Zimbabwe, only with less personal freedom.”
But EU spokespeople disagreed with the Zimbabwe analogy. “We hardly had any beatings,” countered DuChamps de Marny. “Which is obviously a big difference.”