Obama Vice Presidential advisor Eric Holder entered the FBI’s Advisor Protection program today amidst rumors that he would soon be run down by an out-of-control bus. The rumors, stoked largely by right-wing hate sites such as HotAir, had FBI officials worried that the recent history of Obama advisors being run down might repeat itself.
“We’re taking these allegations very seriously,” said Samantha Wright, head of the Advisor Program. “Our profilers tell us we’re dealing with a sociopath here, who time and again hurls those who displease him beneath a rhetorical bus at the first sign of trouble. We don’t want Mr. Holder to become his latest victim.”
Agents said that Holder was being held in a secure location “to prevent anyone from getting to know him better and discovering that they didn’t know him very well to begin with.”