Several Democratic Superdelegates are in near-revolt today and have told chairman Howard Dean that they are not happy with the way the convention is shaping up.
“We were expecting a couple of days of partying and goofing off,” said one. “Instead we’ve got all this pressure to choose the next president. And Eliot Spitzer promised to take us on a fact-finding mission in Denver’s red-light district, but now that’s not going to happen.”
Several superdelegates were also concerned about the recent arrest of Tom Athans. “My wife wasn’t going to be coming along to the convention, and I was looking forward to meeting some of Tom’s Big Beaver friends,” said one horny superdelegate. “What am I going to do now?”
Many superdelegates had hoped that they would be serving in a purely ceremonial role and are nervous about finding themselves center stage and charting the future of the Democratic party.
“I have an invitation to go on a tour of national parks at 11 PM from one of the campaigns,” said a Superdelegate. “I don’t know what the hell that is all about, but it doesn’t sound good. If these two are both still campaigning in August, I’m fleeing the country.”