An interviewer asked Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain about their hunting experiences.
Obama: I once went turkey hunting when I was a bitter, alienated youth. Remember that this was before I had the audacious hope that someday I could help bring this country up from its shame by anointing it with my beneficent presence. Unfortunately, though, unlike chickens, the turkeys never came home to roost, and I had to sate my appetite with an arugula sandwich from the Whole Foods. It was very expensive.
Clinton: I once went hunting in Arkansas without one of those orange vests, and bullets were flying through the air, and I almost got hit several times, but I still bagged a ten-point buck that I brought down with a bow and arrow. Even Bill, who has an impressive hunting record, has never mounted a trophy half as good-looking as that one.
McCain: With all due respect to Mrs. Clinton, my life story is full of harrowing experiences, from being tortured in a VC prison camp to flying fighter jets to trying to pass comprehensive immigration reform while Rush Limbaugh calls me names on talk radio. And all of that pales in comparison to my experience hunting with Dick Cheney.