Chill, man

I’ll never eat peas again.

I just spent the whole day with frozen peas on my balls. It was my wife’s suggestion yesterday to use them to keep the swelling down (as well as numerous commentors on this very blog). I, of course, laughed it off and just spent the evening moaning on the couch.

This morning, though, when I found that instead of balls I had this big purple mass the size of a grapefruit hanging under my dick, I became interested in anti-swelling techniques. So I was happy to have the peas on my privates for the day.

And she took good care of me, bringing me drinks, not complaining about my moaning, and letting me watch whatever I wanted on TV.

You know what? Daytime TV sucks ass. Especially in Europe. Just thought I’d mention that. Thank God I work.