The New York State Department of Education today announced that it was discontinuing its journalism at all levels, saying that further teaching of this archaic skill would “not being the best interests of our students.”
A spokeswoman for the Department of Education said in a press conference that “Continuing to teach journalism would be like having buggy whip repair courses in the twenties. It’s time to relegate journalism to museums, where it belongs, and concentrate on teaching children the three R’s: responsibility to the environment, respect for other cultures, and raunchy sex videos.”
The New York Times blasted the move in an editorial, calling it “a near-fatal blow to the dream of socialism in the United States.”
Among a poll of students, four out of five admitted that they didn’t read newspapers, although one in four did say that they had purchased a newspaper within the last year. 80% of those purchasing papers also owned pets kept in cages, with the other 20% saying that they were buying the paper for an elderly relative.
Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer said “I wish they’d done away with journalism about ten years ago.”