Man Shot in Confrontation over Drive-Thru

A Texas man is in stable condition after being shot yesterday during an angry confrontation in a White Castle drive-thru. The dispute started when, in a gesture of kindness reminiscent of “Pay It Forwards,” a woman not only paid for her meal but the meal of the car behind her.

The next patron, receiving a free meal, paid for the order of the car behind him, and so on. Store manager Davey Fitzcombe said that seven cars followed the pattern without incident when the eighth, driven by Houston native Wally Slocumb, circled back through the drive-through and placed a “massive” order.

“He got forty-two large sliders with sides of onion rings,” said Fitzcombe. “It was thirty-seven dollars, a record for our franchise. I had to go get the key to the safe to be ready to make change for it.”

When the patron in front of Slocumb, retiree Gretta Sanders, was told how much the amount was, however, she refused to pay. Slocumb began berating her from his car, calling her a tightwad and flashing his lights. When Sanders still refused, Slocumb dropped his pants and mooned her.

Sanders, an avid hunter, said she “feared for her life” and retaliated to the hostile heinie by firing six shots at Slocumb, hitting him twice in the posterior. Doctors said that there was no permanent damage, although for the next few months he will have to squat over the toilet instead of sitting on the seat.

Police filed misdemeanor charges of aggravated response to mooning against Sanders, although Prosecutors hinted that they will likely be dropped, as “even in Texas little old ladies are rarely going to be convicted for shooting a jackass in the butt.”