Communication Problems

Actual transcript of a conversation this afternoon:

Wife: “Did the doctor call you today?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Wife: “Did you call him?”

Me: “Why in God’s name would I call him?”

Wife gives me stare of doom.

Me: “I mean, he’s a professional and he has an office staff and everything. He’ll call if there’s an opening, I’m sure.”

Wife: “You know I’m not having sex with you until after you’ve had the operation, right?”

Me: “Does that count blow jobs?”

Wife knees me in groin.

I sleep on couch.

I never thought I’d say this, but I hope Doctor Nuttencutt calls me tomorrow.