Monday, April 14, 2008

Advice You Don’t Need

So Jimmy Carter and Al Gore are supposedly going to give Hillary Clinton “the talk” and try to get her out of the race for the good of the party. What, was Michael Dukakis not available?

Seriously, Clinton needs to remember two things when dealing with these morons:

1) Carter’s legacy is more tarnished than the silverware on the Titanic. I can’t believe he’s going to be able to fit Clinton in between meetings to appease Hamas and his busy schedule of sucking Kim Jong Il’s dick. What a tool.

2) Gore would be president today, easily cruising to his second term, if he’d simply bowed out in 2000 “for the good of the country” and then spent the next four years running in the newspapers (a la Andrew Jackson in the early 1800’s). But instead his overweening selfishness forced a court battle he was never going to win, soured the public on him, and marginalized his political career forever. Now he has to settle for being a junk science tout.

If I were her, I’d call them both what they are (losers) and tell them to take a hike.

You might say she should learn from Gore and gracefully bow out, but remember: primary battles are *supposed* to be bruising, ego-centered contests where candidates tear each other apart. That’s just the way it is.

How is it that the only woman in the race has the biggest balls?

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