Friday, April 18, 2008

Thanks, SEIU Spam-Bot!

For some reason, I received a missive from the SEIU just after the debate last night. I guess their spam-bot is confusing me with Dilton Dollop, renowned labor activist or something. Let's take a look at it, shall we?

Well, if they say so, but every other outlet has him tanking in the debate.
SEIU released the following statement from Secretary-Treasurer Anna Burger after tonight’s Democratic primary debate at the Kimmel Theater in Philadelphia . In addition to the SEIU members who attended the debate in Pennsylvania , SEIU hosted a debate watch party at its office in Washington , D.C.
Secretary and Treasurer? Anna Burger must be all-beef patty on a sesame seed bun! I wonder how much she pulls down a year? Other than pants, I mean. And why is the SEIU Secretary/Treasurer/Dominatrix having her statements released? Were they being held captive? What does SEIU stand for? Stop Easter Island, United? Are those the people who want to destroy the giant heads because they think there are stone bodies under there and someday they'll wake up and take over the Earth? Those people are crazy.
“Senator Obama showed this evening why millions of working Americans across America are enthusiastically supporting his campaign to become our next president. Early on in the debate, Obama set the tone with specific proposals to bring the positive change our country needs.

Because that sounds so much better than "Senator Obama fumed and flustered and basically fell apart in the face of semi-difficult questions from a midget former Clinton apparatchik." I thought Obama's bitch was that early in the debate they focused on meaningless things. Ergo, his specific proposals are meaningless?
“As president, Obama will protect families from foreclosure on their homes, reform bankruptcy laws that are stacked against workers and protect consumers against abusive lending practices. His commitment to ensuring access to health care for everyone, raising the minimum wage and creating good paying jobs that can support a family will help create a new American Dream for all of us.

They forgot shoot rainbows out his ass, create a dietary supplement that tastes great and helps you lose weight, and federally require old women to stop wearing too much perfume and gag those around them. And I'm confused; how does the Secretary-Treasurer-Donkey Masturbater figure that the president creates jobs? Is she recommending a massive military buildup and an invasion of Easter Island to destroy all those giant heads? She is, isn't she? Warmongering bitch.
“Most importantly, Obama can unite the country and end the partisan politics. Obama is not beholden to special interests and is the only candidate we can count on to take on the big oil companies, HMOs and drug companies.”

I had an HMO once. Kid only cost me a $15 copay. Then I didn't have an HMO, and the second kid cost me $2,145. What's so bad about HMOs, again? And Obama's beholden to terrorists, sleazy con men, and racist pastors. That's much better. And I notice that, despite her fixation on destroying the Easter Island heads, he doesn't mention it at all. Is this another NAFTA episode, where he says one thing but does another? Is he telling her that he'll nuke the heads, but secretly telling Easter Island they can put a head on the White House lawn and doom us all?

Stupid tools.

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