Howard the Duck
Arguments For: One of the worst comic book movies ever made, which is quite a trick after the numerous Punisher debacles. A total waste of time, its hit song would make your ears bleed if you listened to it. First known cinematic example of Mallard Porn.Arguments Against: Brought the serious issue of interspecies love into the public discourse with its romantic storyline between Howard and Beverly.
Howard Hughes
Arguments For: Unfaithful germophobe who ended up insane and deluded wallowing in his own filth and living out of hotels to avoid paying any taxes whatsoever. Played by Leonardo DiCaprio in a movie. Crashed a plane on a golf course.Arguments Against: Billionaire who picked up his era’s equivalent of what would be the Lohan-Spears-Hilton trifecta.
Ron Howard
Arguments For: Named his children after the place they were conceived, thus ensuring that “Vinnie’s Adult Bookstore Howard” would someday murder him in his sleep. Body is slowly contorting into an evil caricature of a human being as it slowly mirrors the evil deep inside his soul. Emblematic of all that is wrong with the SimpsonsArguments Against: Good director, whose Hollywood success allowed his much less attractive brother to have a great career as a character actor.
Howard Dean
Arguments For: Michigan. Florida. Upcoming chaos in Denver. Is making John Kerry’s presidential campaign look like it was run by Garry Kasparov. Torpedoed his own run at the presidency by screaming like a howler monkey. Has allowed the 2008 Democratic victory lap to devolve into a bitter mud-slinging contest involving the first viable black candidate, the first viable female candidate, and the only living respected former Democratic president. Is seriously hoping that Al Gore and Jimmy Carter can clean up the mess he’s made.Arguments Against: I got nothing here. He has a first name as a last name?
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