Monday, March 31, 2008

Democrats argue over best failure method

So the Democrats are considering the following methods of killing their chances in the general election:

Seppuku: Obama/Anybody, where Obama has to pit his thin resume and commitment to “a different kind of politics” against a guy who was two decades in government and a reputation for telling people what they don’t want to hear. With added bonus of angry Clintonian maneuvering behind the scenes to make people pay for turning on her.

But at least they’ll save face going this route.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation: Clinton/Obama. Sure, this seems like a good idea at the time, but do they really want all of Clinton’s scandals biting them in the ass while McCain’s partisans are hammering them that Obama’s just an empty suit and also implying that the Democrats are demeaning blacks by denying him the top spot?

I’m guessing they don’t.

Darwin-Award Winning Stupidity: Clinton/Anybody. This has all the problems of Clinton/Obama, with none of the advantages, and makes it totally unnecessary for McCain’s partisans to point out to blacks that they’ve been screwed by the party they’ve loyally supported for about 40 years.

But at least it makes an interesting failure test case for generations of political science students to study.

Immolation: Gore/Anybody, where the only thing that Gore brings to the ticket is a Powerpoint that McCain nods along to. Oh, and massive hypocrisy and the stink of failure. Don’t forget those, which are of dubious value in a general election.

If this is the option I foresee glass sales spiking in the greater Denver metro area to replace all the smashed windows following the announcement.

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