“We already had a no-guns policy, but it apparently hasn’t been enough to deter some drivers from trying to protect themselves. We never want to have this kind of situation occur again,” said a company spokesman. “Lowlife creeps should be sure that they can rob and harass our drivers with no fear of retribution.”
In addition to uniforms, the new company policy requires that all drivers have the following items on them while making deliveries:
Thermal bag to keep pizza warm.
See-through plastic bag to keep money in
Set of dog tags for identification of bullet-riddled bodies.
Piece of chalk as part of Pizza Hut’s continuing commitment to building stronger bonds with local law enforcement, who often forget their own chalk and have to outline the body in tape.
Remember: At Pizza Hut, we want our employees to be in the picture!