A recent New York News study showed that the divorce rate in New York State, one of the highest in the country, is expected to plunge over the next 5 to 10 years. The study cited a number of factors which are expected to contribute, including Generation X’s greater respect for the institution of marriage, lower overall marriage rates, and the ‘Spitzer Effect.’
“Basically what we’re hearing is that a lot of husbands are telling their wives ‘listen, I know that I screwed up, but it’s not like I spent a month’s pay having anal sex with hookers.’ And apparently the wives are accepting that. What a lot of wives have realized the last couple of months is that if their husband isn’t trolling for anonymous gay sex in airport bathrooms or dropping tens of thousands of dollars on harlots, he’s probably a keeper.”
Hardest hit by the change will be divorce lawyers, who fear that a commitment to marriage will cut into their lucrative practice of destroying lives for up to $1500 an hour.
“The profession was already hanging by a thread,” said one affluent Manhattan lawyer. “And as the divorce lawyer profession goes, so goes the economy. We’re like the canary in the coal mine, except people like canaries and don’t consider them to be similar to cockroaches. Which is unfair, because we’re really more like dung beetles.”