Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Grammar Endorses Clinton

Grammar announced today that it was formally endorsing Hillary Clinton, ending weeks of speculation about which Democratic candidate the venerable educational component would favor. The move adds even more steam to Clinton’s momentum as she tries to capitalize on a stunning upset in the “must-win” states of Ohio and Texas.

Analysts said that while the timing caught everyone off-guard, the endorsement itself should shock no one. “Grammar is the largest and most senior of the three R’s, and it’s not a big surprise that it would endorse the establishment candidate. I know that the teacher’s union lobbied Grammar heavily to support Clinton, and it looks like their efforts have paid off.”

Others said that a rivalry between Grammar and Math fueled the endorsement. A source close to Grammar said that “all the talk in the last few days has been about how Math now favors Obama, and was really start to make Grammar mad. What is it, chopped liver? But who today is writing about Math now that Grammar has endorsed? Or should it be ‘whom’? I’m never sure.”

Obama had also seen his support from Grammar wane after a Chicago paper reported that his former third-grade teacher Edna Woolcot supported the teaching of ebonics and said that Grammar was “a racist construct invented by whites to keep blacks in poverty.” Obama has so far refused to distance himself from Woolcot’s comments, and some hinted that this likely cost him Grammar’s endorsement.

With Math showing more and more favor to Obama as time goes on, and Grammar now having endorsed Clinton, the focus will shift to Physical Education. However, with obesity on the rise among all sectors of society, it is doubtful how much influence PE can have on the overall race.

1 comment:

Steve Burri said...

How can Math endorse Obama? Nothing he says adds up.

Besides, the three R's of modern American Education are Riversity, Rulticulturalism, and Revilement of all things American.