Real Solutions to Real Problems

No one more than me would like to see this country end its dependence on foreign oil. But to do this, we need alternative energy sources. And the reality is that since the sun is too weak to even influence climate, much less power a Hummer, it's not going to do the trick.

And wind power? Please. Unless you're going to hook up a propeller behind my uncle Ernie after he's had chili, you're not going to get enough power to light up my Christmas tree's star, much less the forty-foot inflatable Santa on the lawn.

Come to think of it, after he's had chili uncle Ernie qualifies as a natural gas emission, but that's a subject for another post.

No, what we need is a power source like they had on Star Trek: matter and anti-matter combining to power a whole starship so that the dashing captain could have sex with alien babes and Wesley Crusher could get killed.

So why don't we do this: we'll put Jeremiah Wright and David Duke together, and the combined explosion of racial hatred will energize this country for decades to come.

And it has the added bonus of consuming the reactants, which means no more odious byproducts from these two pustules.