Selig: MLB to Honor Superman’s Creator

Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig today announced that the league would have a special honor this year to remember Superman co-creater Jerry Siegel, whose 93rd birthday would have been on October 17.

“What kid doesn’t want to grow up to be Superman?” Selig explained. “Well, in MLB we’ve proven that you can become Superman, even at a somewhat late age, just by good exercise and linseed oil. That’s why we’re going to print ‘Superman’ on the jerseys of some notable players to remind the public of their heroic status.”

Jason Giambi led the push to honor Siegel, one of his heroes. “I respect him so much that I underwent a personal transformation from Superman to Clark Kent just to show my support. I’m going to get glasses soon, just to complete the change.”

Selig said that the AL East would also have a special honor for Siegel. “He was a longtime baseball fan, and an honorary New Yorker, so we’re going to name the AL East the ‘Bizarro Division.’ Instead of the division winner going to the playoffs, the division loser will go in their place. But as consolation we’ll declare the AL East winner the automatic wild card entrant, which should satisfy everybody.”