Thursday, June 21, 2007

Political Spectrum Personality Test

Are you confused about where you lay on the political spectrum? Not sure which group you most identify with? Then take this simple quiz and sum your scores up, then look below to find out which party you ought to register with.

Abu Ghraib is:
1 – Club Med for islamofascists
2 – Aladdin’s monkey sidekick
3 – Modern-day Auschwitz

Rosie O’Donnell is:
1 – A loud-mouthed lesbian truther moron
2 – Good friends with Elmo
3 – Speaking truth to power

Congress’ 14% approval rating:
1 – Seems too high
2 – Shows that they miss the leadership of Senator Jefferson Smith
3 – Is a creation of the conservative hit machine

The worst president in history is:
1 – Jimmy Carter
2 – The one from Dave that cheated on Sigourney Weaver
3 – George Bush

President Bush’s 20% approval rating:
1 – Is a creation of the drive-by, liberal media
2 – Is what happens when you have an aborted fetus in your cabinet
3 – Seems too high

Today in Iraq:
1 – Brave men and women will continue securing our freedom
2 – How should I know?
3 – Brave men and women will continue to resist American imperialism

Today in Iran:
1 – Vicious barbarians will plot to destroy the world
2 – You should say, "Today I will run"
3 – Lawful advancement on peaceful nuclear power will continue

Today in Palestine:
1 – There is no Palestine, only Zool
2 – Is that like PayPal?
3 – Aspirin factories and kindergartens will be targeted by vicious Zionists

CNN is:
1 – House organ of the Surrender-crats
2 – Good for sports scores
3 – The only place to get real news

FOX is:
1 – The only place to get real news
2 – Home of the Simpsons
3 – House organ of the Rethuglicans

C-SPAN is:
1 – The most boring channel ever
2 – The most boring channel ever
3 – The most boring channel ever

Israel is:
1 – Always picked on by the nihilistic Palestinians
2 – Featured in a lot of Christmas movies
3 – Filled with savage warmongers who pick on the poor, helpless Palestinians

A law against indoor smoking:
1 – Fills me with rage at nanny-state governance
2 – Sounds great!
3 – Is good for tobacco, bad for weed

Our intelligence community:
1 – Is engaged in a bureaucratic war against George Bush
2 – Should listen to Jack Bauer more
3 – Was incompetent until 9/11/2001; after that they’ve been totally correct

What is a Neocon?
1 – A made-up term used by idiotic liberals
2 – That guy from ‘The Matrix’
3 – A warmongering christofascist


If you scored 15-20, vote Republican.
If you scored 40-45, vote Democrat.
If you scored 20-40, don’t vote. Trust me, we’re all better off that way.