In a bold move to gain ground on Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton today announced that she is joining Westboro Baptist Church. The church, headed by controversial pastor Fred Phelps, is well-known for picketing both military funerals and gays, and is considered by many to be a hate group as well as a cult.
“It just occurs to me that if what the people want is a candidate plagued by reptilian spiritual advisers, there simply is not a more repugnant clergyman alive today than Fred Phelps,” Clinton told reporters. “You like Barack because he listens to racial Neanderthals and conspiracy theorists? Well, my pastor believes that God hates almost everybody, including gays, Catholics, Muslims, and Jews!”
While some said that selecting Phelps as a pastor was a strange move for a Democratic candidate, political analysis Hooper Dudley said that it was a brilliant strategy. “In an election year where voters are flocking to a Democratic candidate who is little more than empty rhetoric, and the Republican candidate is the most despised party figure in a generation, this is sheer genius!
“The electorate is desperate to be fleeced, and this is Hillary’s way of saying that she’s got the biggest shears.” Hooper added.