Today, I have no son. I've been traveling on business, but today's a holiday over here, so I spent today being with my family, like a good father. I actually felt well enough to play some Wii with them, which I'd been laying off of for obvious chafing-related reasons.
We had a good time, until my son, excited by the tennis game, HIT ME IN THE STITCHES WITH THE WII REMOTE!
I’m sure it was an accident, but I will have vengeance nonetheless.
If I could have run, I would have murdered him. Unfortunately, his mother was right there to protect him, and it took me a good ten minutes to recover.
But I’m cutting him out of the will. And someday, his mother won’t be there to protect him, and then I will have my revenge.
Until then, though, we're sticking with bowling. It's much safer.