Wednesday, May 28, 2008

UN versus Wal-Mart

Which one is a greater threat to world peace? Let’s go to the tale of the tape:

UN Workers wear blue helmets
Wal-Mart workers wear blue vests
Verdict: Toss-up. The vest might make you look like a Boy Scout, but the helmet makes you look like a condom.

Child Exploitation
UN Peacekeepers are abusing children, with at least one major event per year going reported. UN spokespeople have a “can’t make an omelet without breaking an egg” response:
A UN spokesman, Nick Birnback, said that it was impossible to ensure "zero incidents" within an organisation that has up to 200,000 personnel serving around the world.
Wal-Mart employs 2.1 million people worldwide, with nary a hint of organizational failures that allow child exploitation to thrive.
Verdict: UN, but only if you happen to be female or have a child. Otherwise no problem.

UN Peacekeepers are far more likely to engage in illegal arms sales than combat when they encounter militia groups. That is, when they stick around and don’t just retreat at the first sign of trouble.
Wal-Mart sells weapons in accordance with all local and federal laws, but still makes massive headlines whenever a disturbed teenage client shoots up a school after frequenting their stores.
Verdict: Wal-Mart. But only because the UN’s cowardice offsets their corruptness in this matter.

The Company they Keep
UN Peacekeepers are often found around genocidal thugs who rape, maim, and kill their opponents without fear of the Peacekeepers getting involved.
Wal-Mart generally doesn’t have a presence in places with massive amounts of raping, maiming, and killing, other than their Chicago-area stores.
Verdict: UN. Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas

Where the money goes
UN Peacekeepers are funded by the UN, which derives most of its income from the so-called developed world, which means that their raping and pillaging is heavily subsidized by Western democracies.
Wal-Mart is a publicly traded company that delivers goods and services to millions of clients worldwide, and is dependent upon their continued commerce for its very existence.
Verdict: UN. Because I really prefer hands-on raping and pillaging instead of outsourcing it. Or at the very least take bids. I bet Blackwater could rape and pillage at a fraction of the UN’s cost.

Overall, it sure looks to me like the UN is far more dangerous to world peace than Wal-Mart, the bête noir of the worldwide Left.

But what do I know? I’m just the one paying for it.

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