Wednesday, October 17, 2007

General Parade

Pundits have had a lot to say about US General Richard Sanchez’ comments regarding the Iraq war. Further, there’s been some furor about suggesting that General Petraus has betrayed us. And I don’t even want to get into Rush Limbaugh’s attacks on every man and woman that has ever donned a military uniform.

Thankfully the Democrats are out front in defending the uneducated, unwashed masses that make up our military personnel.

But today I want to highlight some of the monstrous things happening here on the home front, perpetrated by the warmongers that run our so-called “Department of Defense”, which would be better called “Traitorous Group Dedicated to Destroying Our International Credibility.”

Here’s a parade of military personnel that we should get rid of NOW, not later, to make the US and the world a better place:

General Potter, US Postmaster General: Talk about a moron! This guy spends millions advertising the USPS. Are there really people watching TV and wondering how to send a letter or parcel? And if so, what are the odds they can actually afford the exorbitant rates that the USPS charges? No wonder stamps cost so much.

General Galson, Surgeon General: How do we really know that this guy went to med school? He could have gone AWOL for years, then flashed a Crest Cavity Control diploma and gotten approved. I miss Joycelyn Elders. At least she made health class interesting. And with the smoking wars won, isn’t it high time to retire this post? Pretty soon he’ll be going after McDonald’s or something.

Sergeant Duke, GI Joe: This guy’s smartass grin and obvious sexual harassment of special agent Scarlett should have gotten him drummed out of the service decades ago. Instead, he’s still field commander for America’s most elite fighting force

General Clement, Solicitor General: Do we really want to organize hookers into a fighting force? Unless he’s planning on throwing in wading pools filled with Jell-O, in which case I wholly support his efforts on our behalf.

General Grievous: A pale imitation of another soldier-actor, R. Lee Ermey, Grievous can’t even pick a decent script and ends up appearing in crappy movies like “Revenge of the Sith.”

General Mills, Breakfast Czar: Possibly the most dangerous one of the group. He chooses as his ambassadors disgraceful persons such as Captain Crunch, who uses child soldiers to do his dirty work, thus doing our reputation more damage than Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo combined. And I don’t even want to talk about his Special Forces representative, Pop, who with his two sidekicks makes a mockery of “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell.” Once he hires Colonel Oliver North he’ll have the hat trick of evil military personnel.