Thursday, September 13, 2007

Six-Month Reflections

I’m coming up on the six-month anniversary of my blog. I’m approaching my 300th post. And, even more important, I’m averaging almost 20 hits a day. Clearly, blog success and the 4-hour work week that go with it are just around the corner for me.

I thought it’d be fun to reminisce about what I’ve learned as a blogger. Okay, I actually thought this was a way to squeeze out a post when I didn’t have any inspiration. Are you happy now?

You can take more time off than you think: A lot of bloggers feel chained to their keyboards, slamming out posts in a desperate attempt to keep people “interested.” I took a whole month off, and almost immediately climbed back up to 20 hits a day.

Of course, if you’re aiming for more than 20 hits a day, maybe you should ignore this advice. Come to think of it, post every day. Every hour, even. Maybe every 30 minutes. In fact, GO POST NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!!

You’ve won the Irish e-mail lottery: Did you know that in Ireland they randomly pick out e-mails and then award 250,000 euros to the winner? All you have to do is send your name, address, and bank account number to them so they can deposit the check. I wonder how economically sustainable a lottery with no entrance fee is, but I suppose they know what they’re doing.

The other bloggers are nicer than you’d expect: In general, everybody’s been really nice to me since I started blogging. I’ve even swapped e-mails with some people that I reamed out for one thing or another, and they were always polite. Some important bloggers have even told me I’m funny. But the bastards didn’t link me, so they can go to hell.

Mary Buckheit is a Hit Magnet: A surprisingly large number of people find my blog by Googling “Mary Buckheit naked” and coming to this post. I would say that Mary Buckheit is worth about 10 hits a week, based on my site meter (please note that Mary Buckhet is not actually naked in the post).

So I’d like to say it again: Mary Buckheit naked thong bikini oil wrestling cougar fiasco. And for those teenage sports perverts who are scrolling down this post with their hands in their pants while on the school library computer: shame on you. In my day, we had to rummage through our older brother’s closet for porn, and we were thankful to get it!

Here’s a picture of Mary, who (to my knowledge) is full enough of grace that she’s not yet been splayed across the Internet in her altogethers.

Don’t go near Burkina Faso
: Apparently this place is a plane-crash magnet and full of dirty bankers who want to launder the money left behind through your account. It takes some time, though, because I’ve sent these guys like twenty thousand dollars in wire fees and not yet gotten any money yet.