Thursday, September 6, 2007

Holy Hypersexualized Zwinkies, Batman!

Is anybody else freaked out by the Zwinkies, or is it just me?

They’re like a cross between a Bratz doll and one of those Precious Moments figurines, paraded across the internet in their underwear for you to “dress up” in a variety of leather fetish or hooker outfits to use as personal avatars when you go cruise the internet asking stupid questions on Yahoo! or trolling for cheap penis enlargement drugs.

And the name; it’s kind of reminiscent of “twinkie”, which is itself a sexual commentary in its own right (if I understand correctly). But of course it has the new, ultra-hip letter Z at the beginning.

It’s as if everyone felt sorry for X and Z not having enough words, so they stuck them in place of random consonants in order to make new, super-jackass words they can use everywhere else.

“Look, it’s the X games! Look, it’s the zwinkies! Look, it’s an NBA xebra fixing the gamez for his boyz!”

Is this a personal failing on my part, or do these things bother anybody else?