Yawn, Clemens Signs

The “Aged Sports Stars that Fascinate the Media and Bore the Rest of Us” home has one less resident now that Roger Clemens has signed with the Yankees for six hundred million dollars and three Hawaiian Islands. The media is breathless with anticipation of his plowing down AL hitters like so much dried-out wheat.

Admit it: how many of you are hoping he fails, has an 11.4 ERA, and the Yankees miss the playoffs? I don’t wish the guy any ill, but this act is getting tiresome.

Of course, he could be stubborn like Brett Favre, who has thrown 62 interceptions in the last two seasons and still comes back to play football. But at least Favre has taken several concussions that impaired his judgment.

What’s Clemens’ excuse? Oh, yeah, HGH. I mean, of course, His Great Heater. It’s not like I’m implying anything there.